Memoirs of a Grand Admiral
Begin Transmission.
I.A. Space Log. 1524 hours.
Greetings Earthlings.
You are no doubt wondering who I am, and why I am contacting you at this time. There are many truths in this world that you cannot imagine, and it is time you are made aware of the many things you are too ignorant to understand. I am the Grand Admiral of the Interspacial Alliance, serving under the guidance and wisdom of Emperor Zorag, may he one day awaken from his eternal slumber. The Interspacial Alliance is a fascist government that controls the multiverse, including your puny planet of "Earth". We call it Z889G, but that is beside the point.
Along with my co-ruler, Grand Admiral Alaylia, we control every aspect of your lives, even if you are unaware we even exist. Certain of our operatives are stationed on Earth to make sure things are running smoothly. You may have seen them, standing on street corners talking into their coffee cups. These are not lunatics. These are our operatives. Some even have integrated themselves into the school system and government. Should you meet an operative, they are to be treated with the respect they are due. After all, they carry the latest Photon Boom Rifles, and are instructed to fire if necessary.
This communication is not meant to scare you, as you tend to stampede around like mindless sheep when frightened. This is meant to open your eyes to the truth around you, and force you to finally accept what we have been hiding from you for so long. You are not alone in the multiverse. You are not in control of your lives, your destinies. Even your sports games are rigged. We control everything, and we control you. Welcome to a brave new world, Earthlings. We hope you can cope with it. And if not, we'll just destroy you.
Grand Admiral Chelli Out.
End Transmission.
I.A. Space Log. 1524 hours.
Greetings Earthlings.
You are no doubt wondering who I am, and why I am contacting you at this time. There are many truths in this world that you cannot imagine, and it is time you are made aware of the many things you are too ignorant to understand. I am the Grand Admiral of the Interspacial Alliance, serving under the guidance and wisdom of Emperor Zorag, may he one day awaken from his eternal slumber. The Interspacial Alliance is a fascist government that controls the multiverse, including your puny planet of "Earth". We call it Z889G, but that is beside the point.
Along with my co-ruler, Grand Admiral Alaylia, we control every aspect of your lives, even if you are unaware we even exist. Certain of our operatives are stationed on Earth to make sure things are running smoothly. You may have seen them, standing on street corners talking into their coffee cups. These are not lunatics. These are our operatives. Some even have integrated themselves into the school system and government. Should you meet an operative, they are to be treated with the respect they are due. After all, they carry the latest Photon Boom Rifles, and are instructed to fire if necessary.
This communication is not meant to scare you, as you tend to stampede around like mindless sheep when frightened. This is meant to open your eyes to the truth around you, and force you to finally accept what we have been hiding from you for so long. You are not alone in the multiverse. You are not in control of your lives, your destinies. Even your sports games are rigged. We control everything, and we control you. Welcome to a brave new world, Earthlings. We hope you can cope with it. And if not, we'll just destroy you.
Grand Admiral Chelli Out.
End Transmission.
posted by grandadmiralm at 12:02 PM
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